For some people forgiveness is very simple but for others, it can be very difficult. One person I have a difficult time forgiving is my dad. My parent divorced when I was one year old and it was very difficult growing up in a single family home. My dad was in and out of my life while my mom struggled to keep a roof over her daughter’s head. My mom worked 12 hours a day, four times a week which has done a lot of damage to her body. Now, my dad wants to have a full on relationship with me but, I find it very difficult to forgive him for not helping my mom raise my two sisters and I when we were little. Because my mother is always in pain and always is exhausted from work, I feel anger towards my dad. I feel that if he would have contributed to our lives as children, my mom would be much happier now and not in so much pain on an everyday basis.
I understand exactly where you coming from. A situation took place in my life with one of family that has troubled me till this day. I don’t know when I’ll be ever able to forgive him or if I will ever be able to. For you, I don’t know much about your situation but I can see you are deeply hurt by your father. No one can tell you when you should forgive him or even if you should. The only thing I can tell and what I try to tell myself all the time with my situations is everyone makes mistakes. And your dad may have made a vital one, but from what your saying is he is trying to make up for it, just is going about it wrong. I don’t have father in my life; he was taken away from me by that “family” member I can’t seem to forgive. But for you, your father is in your life. And I think whether right or wrong, you should try and take advantage of that. I’m not telling you to rush or do it today, but I do feel you have a father in your life and I would do anything to have mine back.
ReplyDeleteHey Stephanie325, thank you for sharing that. I can definitely relate to your story. My parents also divorced, but not until a few years ago. Being old enough to comprehend what was going on made it hard not to be involved or have it affect my feelings towards my parents. My dad is the initial cause of my parents’ relationship not working, and because of his actions I too had a very hard time maintaining a relationship with him. In a way, I was holding a grudge against him for making our family life complicated. Like you, I lived with my mom and watched her struggle to support her kids, and that made me dislike my father very much.
ReplyDeleteStephanie,
ReplyDeleteI cant say that I understand where you are coming from, being that ive never dealt with that situation. I really applaud you for sharing something so personal to you. I dont think ive ever come across the problem of not being able to forgive someone myself. I think that you giving some sort of chance. I think that we find ourselves making mistakes from time to time, but I feel that everyone deserves a second chance. I hope that it all works out for you in one way on another, in life we are only giving one father and one mother. I think that time heals all and at some point things will work their way out in one way or another. I wish you the best of luck. Good Post.
I am a single mom carrying the financial burden. I know that you love your mother and it hurts to see her in pain. But from a mother’s perspective, she would want you to be free from unforgiveness and anger. If you can let go of all that, you will be able to live a full life and your mother’s work will not have been in vain. Have you talked with your father about how you are feeling? It may be possible that you are as the text says, “attributing” blame on faulty grounds. On the other hand, you may be absolutely correct in your attributions, but if you can work your through the anger to a place where you can see your dad as a flawed human, that did not intend to hurt your mother, the release of the negative emotions you feel toward him very well could bring you peace and maybe even allow you to finally have a father.
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